Learning to Play

Last spring I wrote about perfectionism here. My Little Miss Perfect was in full swing when I came home from Texas and amassed lots of supplies and books to help me learn about and improve in working with pastels. Trouble was, I hated making drawings of outdoor scenes and still lifes. I am able to make things look 'real' but I don't like the process. I get all tight and anxious about the finished piece. It's not much fun for me. But I tell myself that's what I'm 'sposed' to do.

So here I was, with all these new supplies, and I wasn't using them. As you might imagine, the guilt set in. I longed to loosen up with the pastels, but whenever I stared at that big sheet of paper, I felt like I had to make some 'real' art. Then a couple of experiences allowed me to find a new way. I hope my learning might help you, too, if you're faced with perfectionism.

Recently, I spent a fun and inspirational afternoon taking an Artist Journal workshop with Fran Meneley in Longmont. Although I'd done some collage, written a journal off and on for years, and done some sketching of ideas in my journals, this was my first attempt at the 'artist' journal.

It was intriguing and puzzling. Was it 'supposed to' be pretty, personal, artsy or raw? What's my style? Well, as I relaxed into making pages over the next few weeks, I realized it was all those things. Although I tend to value the raw over the pretty. Pretty gets my perfectionist thang going.

Last weekend I attended Boulder's Open Studios tour. One of my favorites was Caroline Douglas, a clay artist with a wonderful imagination. She had several small watercolor and pastel working sketches in her studio that reflected the way I long to play with pastels. I want to make imaginary pictures. Caroline's work showed me the way.

So last night I brought a box of pastels up to my art journaling area in an annex of our kitchen, and I restored my relationship with my pastels! How great to use them in my art journal, where pages are smaller and less 'special' than my pastel paper, so I feel free to experiment!

It can be really tough to let ourselves play. Lots of expectations can trap us. I'm grateful for playful artists like Caroline and Fran, who have shown me the way and helped me give myself permission to have fun. If you're stuck in the perfectionism rut, find a mentor of play, a queen or king of fun, and learn how you can let yourself go. You'll be glad you did!

Freedom from Self Improvement

Jennifer Louden, the Comfort Queen, has declared this week the freedom from self improvement week, and I've signed up!


This does NOT mean that we get to let ourselves go hog wild and do everything we normally do to keep our urges under control (Ice cream!!!!!) but that we give ourselves the grace of accepting ourselves as we are. Knowing that we are already good and wonderful and amazing. Our job is to let ourselves see this. Beyond see, experience!


So I realized this morning that I could NOT spend another day at my computer trying to knock out more writing or other parts of my developing creativity coaching biz. I gathered up some acrylic paint, a big sketchbook, some fabric and my folding chair and headed down route 7 to this lovely spot. Here I planned to free myself from responsibility to work with some freeing no expectation art making.

I sat on a huge flat rock by the St. Vrain Creek. I practiced my qi gong, Cosmic Freedom Qigong, no less :-). I was intrigued by the patterns on the beech tree next to the rock and this made its way into my painting.


And of course, I have a compulsion to use every last bit of paint left on my palette. This is where I work with wild abandon, as I dipped the muslin I brought in the creek to wet it, then made monoprints with the leftover paint.

Topped by an iced chai latte, this was the perfect day for celebrating my self, complete as I am, loving and enjoying what I love to do.

What does your perfect day of celebrating you look like?